Statistics (yes..the very same statistics that say that 93.5% of all statistical figures are made up on the spot) say that there’s a 97.1% possibility that you’ve traveled at least once on an Indian Railways train. There’s also a 99.45% possibility that you’ve gotten bored at least once during the journey(s)….and that’s the inspiration behind this edition of Hum Do Hamaare Paanch!

Here’s how you can surprisingly kill boredom during a train journey:

1) Handover a flight ticket to the TT when he comes to check the tickets. Tell him that you missed your Indian Airways flight so you decided to catch the Indian railways instead. Don’t forget to ask for a reimbursement of the balance amount. And don’t forget to mail us how it went!

2) Do a service to the society. Since the toilets in trains are invariably unclean, write ‘Yahaan peshaab karna mana hai’ outside all the bathrooms. A little action can go a long way!

3) Pull out a plastic fork and try to loot the compartment using it as your weapon. If you succeed, do not forget to share your fortune with us. If you don’t, forget that we ever mentioned it to you!

4) Before boarding the train, count the number of wheels in the train. If the number of wheels, for instance, is 634, then go the driver’s cabin and demand to see his driving license for a 634-wheeler!

5) Let’s finish noise pollution once and for all. Get some mobil oil in good quantity. Pour it in the noses of whoever snores too loudly. If you yourself have the habit of snoring, pass the oil on to the person sitting next to you!